Blackpool

Blackpool never fails to make me cringe.

Buckley said "You're never going to change it so just get drunk and go with it."
Needless to say I did get drunk but not in order to "go with it" but rather to block it out. I would have got more drunk but for the fact that all the gay bars in Blackpool charge you to get in.

We went into Blackpool during the day and during the half hour that I waded through the swirling rubbish on and around Victoria Street I was witness to a bloke in a mankini - knob & balls on show - a middle aged woman with a SEX bracelet being tongued by her terrier on a bench and about fifteen blokes in grass skirts and ladies' bras. It was a beautiful experience. I had to seek refuge in Waterstones.

I was actually looking for the 3 Mobile store to do a bit of research for a job interview but couldn't find it. I looked everywhere for it. I called directory enquiries and they gave me the address and phone number - it wasn't at the supplied address and the phone number was dead. I asked people in the street - nobody knew. By the time I gave up I had already decided that I didn't want to work in Blackpool anyway.

We escaped back to Poulton for drinks and dinner with my brothers before daring our return to Blackpool to see the other side of the town.

We drank at Taboo first for which we paid one pound each for the priveledge. The DJ was a camp tranny who hasn't changed her act since the eighties. The venue was run down and dirty. The 'terrace' where we sat whilst I smoked, was full of loud hen parties, there was no character, no music, no lighting in fact nothing to make you want to sit out there. We left after one drink.

Across the road at Pepes it was the same entrance fee situation so we declined. The doorman told us that it was to keep straight people out. At Trades bar we were told that you must become a member which again you must pay for. When we commented that it was really difficult to go for a drink in Blackpool the doorman there claimed it was because the council didn't want gay bars in Blackpool and that the licensing laws required entry fees. I suspect it's just a money making trick.

We eventually decided that if we were going to go somewhere for an hour before the club it might as well be the busiest and closest of all the bars so we ventured into The Flying Handbag... This place had a two pound door charge for some reason and whilst it was an improvement on Taboo it was still trashy. A bad drag queen played camp music and the place felt unfinished.

I'd have hoped that after all these years Blackpool would have moved on a little or if not, at least in such a captive market where one person owns most of the bars, I'd have expected some money being put back into it. There must be a market for something a little more sophisticated in Blackpool.

We finished at Flamingo's night club which was a bit rough - there were lots of dealers in there very early in the evening and they seemed to take over the toilets and be quite intimidating. The music was quite full on from the beginning and didn't seem to do very much. Having said that we did dance for about an hour before calling it a day and heading back to Poulton.

I'm sure that in a couple of years we'll have forgotten how bad Blackpool really is and do it again but until then I'll steer clear - it makes me feel dirty.