China In Your Hands

When I was a youngster I would regularly go with my neighbour Damian, his mum and another neighbour Clara, to Ashton Market (see picture of market hall on fire Tues 25th May2004) My enduring memories of Ashton Market are peppery Cornish pasties, a grey tee shirt with netting sewn onto it as an over-layer which was possibly my first venture into fashion, a key ring with a little white, rubber Scottie dog on it and a stall which sold cassettes of famous songs re-recorded by not so famous, anonymous artists.

In comparison Tommyfield Market in Oldham felt somewhat less glamorous. Having said that I loved the sparkly floor of the inside market and also the chip shop which was in one of the permanent huts around the edge of the outside market which sold the best chip muffins in town.

I once spent a very long afternoon helping out my girlfriend Michelle on the pound stall. Three thousand toilet rolls for a pound, Two million AA batteries - a pound love. One hundred biros - that'll be a pound my dear. Eight hundred and fifty thousand blank videos - just one pound my lovely. Ta very much. I once bought a soap on a rope and a T' Pau record for my dad from Tommyfield Market.

I always loved Camden Market on a Sunday morning - especially when it was cold. I re-discovered Aretha Franklin's Until You Come Back To Me whilst milling about Camden Market sipping warm spiced cider - I also discovered the mad lady with pink wire in her hair at Cyber Dog on the same day. Still in London Spitalfields was always worth a visit - if only for the falafel - and down on the south bank the best place to get a free lunch, Borough Market.

It was outside Borough Market one night that I met Big Mo from Eastenders. I'd been on a tour of pubs with my cousin Rachael starting at Embankment and ending up - rather messily - in a pub very close to Bridgette Jones' flat. Well Big Mo was there and we said hello before she drove off in a mini. On the tube afterwards we started a debate (based on a news story about a Thai zoo) and got everyone on the carriage to vote, with a show of hands, as to whether or not they would eat giraffe burgers. I don't remember the final count. Sadly, this is all completely true...

http://www.oldham-chronicle.co.uk/

Zoo

We went to the zoo last weekend. It was very exciting. A wintry Sunday morning has to be the best time to see the animals. We made a bee line for the giraffes - natch. There were three giraffes which had been put out in the yard and locked out. Walking around in large slow circles it was reminiscent of a Sugarbabes video except without the insipid music and with the addition of a substantial amount of grace and style.

The Sea lions were next - they were gorging themselves on fishy tit bits offered by the keepers in return for showing off their jumping skills to the gathering crowd. Theresa was playing up.

We found the spider monkeys fighting over an old piece of bark and noted the freedom with which the males of the species showed off their pink monkey willies (in stark contrast to their black fur.)

My least favourite attraction was the children's zoo. The wallaby, the miniature donkey and the stinky goat were all miserable. They all stood in their individual pens glaring at us whilst doing nothing more than standing in the sun. Granted it was very cold and there was melting ice raining from the trees but even the tiger had a bit of a walk. I don't ask for much entertainment from the animals but a smile wouldn't hurt would it?

The red panda in contrast was active, cheerful and even spared a few seconds to swap phone numbers with us. We have become great friends in the short time since we saw him and we are expecting him and his fiance to visit this weekend. I will be serving ants and bamboo for dinner - as a vegetarian I will bypass the ants but I am greatly looking forward to the bamboo.

http://www.blackpoolzoo.org.uk/pages/home/